What to do with the versatile Mikel Arteta?


Without any doubt, Mikel Arteta has been one of the best signing by Arsene in the last few years.

We all expected him to play more forward in midfield and, together with Wilshere, Diaby and Rosicky, help to fill the void left behind by Cesc after his acrimonious departure in the summer of 2011. But the Basque turned out to be a versatile player and alongside Alex Song, he developed gradually into our deeper laying midfielder; our midfield ‘anchor’, and protector of the back-four.

As soon as Arteta got injured, towards the end of last season, the whole team suffered, and so did our results. It had become obvious that Arteta was crucial to our team.

Since Song was sold to Barcelona, Arteta has become our undisputed nr.1 for the DM position; although in our formation of 4-2-1-3, he is often supported by the ‘lynchpin’ midfielder, who needs to possess both defensive and attacking qualities. Arsenal started the season relatively strong, especially from a defensive point of view, and Diaby had a key role to play in all of this. Diaby’s physicality and ability to shield the ball, combined with his forward runs and good passing ability, seemed to be the ideal partner for Arteta.

As soon as Diaby got injured, Arsene Wenger struggled to fill the void left behind by the powerful, yet oh so vulnerable, Frenchman, and it is only since Super Jack Wilshere returned to more or less full fitness, that we are starting to see glimpses again of how Arsenal can and should play.

Having watched Mikel Arteta closely during our game against The Latics, I cannot help but feel that Arsenal are running a considerable risk to play Arteta in the pivotal ‘anchor’ role all the time. A feeling I have had for a quite a while, to be frank; and one that quite a few fellow Gooners seem to share with me.

This is not meant to be as a strong criticism of Mikel Arteta. I love his professionalism, and his reading of the game and positioning are very, very good. Without Arteta in the team, we often lack shape and focus and all other players benefit tremendously from his presence and application of his role.

However, what we missed against Wigan Athletics was physical power; on the ground and in the air. Somebody who can win the ball back with a great tackle or by winning a header; and somebody who can shield the ball really well for  a couple of seconds, so fellow midfielders can get themselves in the best positions to receive the ball and start an attack, or just to be able to pass the ball round better.

Jack Wilshere worked his socks of to compensate for this lack of physical competitiveness, but Jack and Mikel are together not strong enough to outmuscle opponents, in my view.

It should be taken into account that Wigan’s strongpoint is their midfield play: they have a well-drilled unit who can both win the ball and keep it with relative ease. They definitely kept it better than Arsenal for large parts of the game. We often were able to win the ball of Wigan, only to give it away again within seconds, as a result of the pressure put on us by The Latics.

For me, our first priority is to get a beast of a DM who can fill our current gap in midfield, so we can boss that area much better going forward.

The beauty of Arteta is his versatility, combined with his experience. I don’t think he is as good a player as Cazorla, Rosicky or Wilshere in any of the other midfield roles, currently available in Arsenal’s formation. But I also don’t believe he is the best player to have in the deepest midfield position.

Arteta can play anywhere, and that’s what makes him a very good player to have in our squad, but I reckon we need to find a better player for the anchor role as soon as possible: somebody with the vision and positioning of Arteta and, on top of that, with the physical requirements of a typical DM.

Coquelin and Frimpong might well develop into such a player, but I don’t think they are ready for it anytime soon.

For me, Arteta is to be kept and used wisely within the squad, but going forward we need to get a top class, classic DM, as soon as possible.

This is, without any doubt, my nr.1 Arsenal wish for the New Year.

Written by: Total Arsenal. 

With a special thank you to Oz Gunner for the Arteta ‘ Zorro’ picture! 🙂

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76 Responses to What to do with the versatile Mikel Arteta?


    Excellent post TA

    Since 2006 i have been a firm believer that the key to success for this Arsenal set up is control of the midfield area.

    The passing game, were a large percentage of possesion is chaneled through the middle areas has an enemy, i.e. the pressing game. This is a an anti passing tactic which is commonly deployed by our rivals and unfortunitly it is often successful. Even fourth division Bradford for large periods stifiled our play.

    One of the antidotes is a player like Diaby. The guy has the ability and as you say, size and power to shake off an oppenent and unlock the stranglehold of man to man pressing. Wenger knows this, but what dissapointed me was the Clubs over reliance on a player that has serious musculer deficencies. We need an alternative, but of course the question is who?

    Arteta has done great and is a fine player and a wonderful proffesional. But is he the answer or the key to overcoming pressing oppenents?, i dont think so.

    The aim must be not to change our game. In my opinion ball retention with a purpose is the most effecient form of modern football. No, the goal must be to overcome teams who set there stall out to surpress our passing and fludity through pressing, forcing us to make mistakes which they the feed on by exposing the space afforded once possesion is lost.

  2. TotalArsenal says:

    A very succinct, analytical comment Terry, and it shows once again that you are not only a ludicrous Gooner, but a football-wise one as well! 😆


    Thanks TA. hahahaha

  4. TotalArsenal says:

    Have you started your promised post yet hahaha!?


    Not yet TA, been a bit “stretched” recently hahahaha. But i promise i will.

    VCC, heres my 5. Its not a bet, its an investment.

    Arsenal 5-0
    Sunderland, Swamp Dwellers draw
    Man Utd
    Man City
    Everton, Chelsea draw

    Night TA, sweet dreams for you, and hopefuly erotic ones for me. hahahaha

  6. babakrdaemi says:

    100% agree

  7. henrychan says:

    Morning all..
    Nice post TA..

    Prediction first :
    Arsenal and Stoke city home win..
    MU, City and Chelsea draw..
    Hope Sunderland get the magic to beat Spurs.. hehe..

    Arteta.. certainly a very vital player for us..
    And I don’t think Coquellin can subs him good enough..
    Eventhough We bring Mvilla or Mbiwa for DM.. I still think Arteta will in the team.. and that could mean Wilshere must be on bench.. and that for sure was a waste..

    For our future team :
    I don’t think Walcott will sign the contract.. the history of RvP and Song said that..
    And if Wenger is constantly (stubborn) play 4-3-3.. that I think he is.. We certainly need a proper RW..
    TG mentioned about Turan as rumours also said that.. but 19 mil is a huge amount.. better bring Lopez or Isco.. or Strootman..
    Yes.. We need a dutchman in Arsenal.. hehe..
    Will not be complete to watch Arsenal without any dutchman.. haha..

    As my day-dream continue..
    And Wenger said to pick more local boy..
    I doubt We will sign for another Spain.. hehe..

    tobe continue..

  8. The Gooner says:

    Great post TA, a nice tribute to a very underrated Arsenal player.

    As I’ve said several times, I believe that Arteta and Diaby are great as a midfield pairing and there’s good balance between the two. As you point out, Arteta and Wilshere do not have the same effect and it’d be nice to have a Capoue/Strootman/Diame and Wilshere combination to keep our squad healthy and fresh for tactics. However, rumours suggest that Diaby’s return to practicing is imminent and if AW deems him fit then buying another midfielder may not be an immediate priority. Regardless, if we buy another midfielder or not, it’ll take time for them to bed in to the squad and they’ll have a great mentor in Arteta to help refine their skills in reading the game and smart ball distribution.

    Henry, if AW’s not willing to pay 19 mil for Turan, you can forget about Isco or Strootman as well. Both will cost roughly 17-19 mil and that’s the price you have to pay for a high quality, young talent. Also, Adrian isn’t really on the same level as those 3 in terms of talent and isn’t a big improvement on the players we already have. As for having a dutchman, they are notorious for being extremely egocentric, isolated and have a history of putting themselves before the team both on and off the pitch. I think we’re better off without them in our squad, but it’s hard to pass up a player with as much potential as Strootman. The trend of buying local boys applies more to the youth set-up/academy and AW was quoted that the core would be blended with international signings, especially players that he believes would fit the team mentality and style of play.

    With that said, La Liga is the perfect place to buy for AW as they fit our fluid style of play, most players are extremely versatile and will come at a discount given Spain’s financial situation. Whether or not the Turan rumours are true, it’s a positive link in the right direction for Arsenal if we’re scouting players of that quality.

  9. henrychan says:

    Hi TG..
    As you are a big fan for Spain players.. I am a big fan for Holland.. hehehe..
    So for me.. something just not going right without any ducthman in Arsenal squad.. hahaha..

    Turan is a midfielder or more like a LW for me..
    And Walcott is a RW.. So it wouldn’t matching..
    Moreover Wenger always push Podolski to that position.. there is no room for Turan there.. not to mention how Wenger also love Gervinho.. hehehe..

    And I don’t say that Wenger must not pay alot for quality player..
    But 19 mil.. (other said 24 mil) for Turan.. is not a good buy..
    Better to bring Isco in that money.. cause he is a RW.. suite to replace Walcott..
    But I think Isco also worth 25mil nowaday..
    And as we do know Wenger will never swap Walcott to Isco or Turan.. if he need to add some money for that.. So maybe Lopez is a good buying.. He is also RW.. hehehhe..

    Yes.. Spanish is on the wind.. hehehe.. EPL is crazy at spanish players.. cause of Michu, Mata, Arteta, Cazorla and others..
    But Dutchman will be great also.. hehehe.. Strootman is one of them.. Siem De Jong, Narsingh and Lens also good.. and you know.. they are more cheaper than spanish.. hehehe..

  10. JM says:

    Firstly, I would put it is that how players are line-up in a formation & also 60% of football plays during a game concentrates in the centre length of the pitch (i.e. GK, CBs, DM/CMs, AMs, CFs) while the remaining 40% are spread out to both sides of the pitch (20% on LB, LM/LW and 20% on RB, RM/RW). So getting the “centre” spine with the right players for the team’s footballing philosophy would mean 60% chance of winning a match.

    In the case we do not get either that beast of a player signing or Diaby fails to return 100% for games, my personal view for our team (& manager) is to apply an unorthodox formation change …… by using a 3-3-1-3 starting line-up (which is derived from the 4-3-3):


    Koscielny, Mertesacker, Vermaelen

    Sagna(Jenkinson), Arteta, Gibbs(Coquelin)


    Cazorla(Rosicky), Giroud(Walcott), Podolski(AoC/Gervinho)

    (1) The defence:
    We would have a “centre” spine of 3CBs (Mertesacker in the middle as a sweeper/centre back role; Koscielny & Vermaelen on both sides of him and just in front as well in the stopper/centre back role.
    Both of them have 3 roles to play in the team:
    a) Attacking the 1st ball launched into our defensive 3rd (either front a long ball or short pass) as stopper/centre backs. Thus, they should be likely to close down on/press the opposition’s centre forward(s). Mertesacker should then sweep up any 2nd ball that are missed.
    b) Provide adequate cover on both our right and left defensive sides when either one or both of our fullbacks move forward to support our attack.
    c) Either Koscielny or Vermaelen to also give support to Arteta in the DM/CM zone by helping to bring the ball out from defense(once they have won the ball). Thus, they would also ply the role of the “false DM/CM” – providing the physical presence, when the team are initiating an attack.

    (2) The midfield:
    Basically, it is a (3)-(1) setup. Starting with Arteta in the DM/CM role around the centre circle of the pitch and being supported by (a) our “false DM/CM” in Koscielny/Vermaelen and (b) on both wide areas by Gibbs/Coquelin(LB/LM) and Sagna/Jenkinson(RB/RM). The 3 players should provide the contact points in their respective parts of the pitch (right, centre, left) in launching our attack; pressing the opposition’s midfield in defense.

    And it ends with Wilshere(Diaby/Ramsey) taking the CM/AM role around the centre of our attacking 3rd (close the the opposition’s D) and with the options of (a)playing through to any 3 of our attacking trio (wide forwards/wingers or centre forward); (b) having a go @goal with a long shot or dribbling through the opposition’s defence and strike @goal.
    Wilshere(Diaby/Ramsey) could also provide high covering/pressing to win the ball back early, should our attack breakdown around that area.

    At any point of time, our midfield would have at least 4 to 5 players to play the passes around and do the necessary pressing/covering.

    (3) The offence:
    Make up of a creative playmaker midfielder/winger (with close ball control and good @passing/crossing), one secondary forward/winger (with pace or good dribbling skill and can strike the odd goal), one main forward (link up play and put the ball into the opposition’s net in any sort of ways possible). We have options available from Cazorla, Rosicky, Giroud, AoC, Podolski, Gervinho & Walcott for these 3 positions.

    This is an option on what we could do with the current personnel at our team presently. (prior to any new signings in the January 2013 transfer window)

  11. VCC says:

    JM…..WOW, with a response like that, you should stick around for a long time. Well explained Sir.

    I think it’s worth a try at least.

    With your formation, would you buy anyone to replace the personnel selected? If so who?

  12. Jerá says:

    Dude, I agree with you. But Arteta Wilshere and Cazorla cause the manager a selection headache.

    If I had Wenger’s task of picking the team, I would play Arteta next to a disciplined enforcer (disciplined in the sense that he sits central, like a much younger Marcos Senna or Claude Makelele) as an anchor pair in a 4-2-3-1 formation. Then I’d put Jack ahead of them. He’s like a terrier, Jack (Jack Russel perhaps) but I think he is better offensively than defensively. Cazorla would then shift to right flank. Theo, if he stays, can battle for the lone striker’s role with Giroud. For my fantasy team lay out, I’d buy a new enforcer, because The Frimster and The Coq aren’t ready yet but I believe will one day be great players if they’re just patient. Apart from the left back hole that emerges when Gibbs is injured, our defence is okay. It’s the protection in midfield that’s absent. And if that is rectified, even our strikers will do better.

    Cue the c*nt sayers.

  13. Josh says:

    selling theo and replacing him with Santi is a good option. Then push Jack & Mikel forward to have room for a new DM.

  14. WiganGooner says:

    Great post TA,

    Totally agree with you. Arteta is made for the “Pirlo” role, but he lacks someone to do the tackling for him. I kept saying it during our chats last week, we miss someone to just do the donkey work, snap in a few challenges and turn defence into attack quickly.

    Frimpong is attracting a bit of criticism at the moment at Charlton, which is a shame because I think he can be that guy for us. If not then I’d love to see someone like Cattermole (who I think is a complete animal – but is a very good defensive midfielder) or even Coquelin doing the role and releasing Arteta and Wilshire. We could keep our formation and put Cazorla out wide along with Poldi.

    Food for thought at least.


  15. Red Arse says:

    Morning All, 🙂

  16. Red Arse says:

    Hi WG, 🙂

    You are right that might be an option. Difficult to see what AW will do, he is playing his cards close to his chest!

  17. Red Arse says:

    Hi JM, 🙂

    I read your 5:22 with great interest.

    You are without doubt the greatest analytical writer on the blogs!! Fantastic read. 🙂

  18. Red Arse says:

    TA, first, Good Morning, and then — you naughty boy!! 🙂

    I saw that earlier you told poor little Terry Nutkins that he ia a ‘ludicrous’ Gooner!!!

    Ludicrous? — ludicrous? Foolish; ridiculous; absurd? Our loveable, whacky Terry – Lost My Marbles – Mancini? Surely not?

    Then again ………………… 😀


    hahahaha, Redders, i thought he said “Lushious”. Right, ime going to get him for that. hahahaha

  20. TotalArsenal says:

    RA/TMHT – the meaning of ‘ludicrous’, according to my dictionary, suits the telescope swinger to a tee; ‘amusingly absurd’. How could you argue with me about that one Oh Great American Polymath! 😛

  21. TotalArsenal says:

    Morning all 🙂

    Apologies for late arrival – been busy with family stuff.

    Thanks for the great and often in-depth responses overnight. I will read them now with care and respond to you in due course.

  22. TotalArsenal says:

    Hey Henry 🙂

    I have been thinking about a post titled something like: ‘Arsenal’s future is Anglo-Spanish, but we still miss a Dutchman’. So, I agree with you 🙂

  23. Red Arse says:

    Look here Tazzer, I have to defend my little friend Titmouse Terry!! He is a sweet and nutty spirit lost in a wicked world!! 🙂

    Just had a thought after you expressed your contentment yesterday;

    TA = Great Clog, great blog, great (little) dog!!” 😀

  24. TotalArsenal says:

    Thank you, Sir! 🙂

    Did you have a great Christmas, Redders?

  25. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi TG 🙂

    I am not sure Arteta is underrated; I often feel he is overrated a bit.

    Haha, love your description of my fellow Dutchmen, and you know, there is quite a bit of truth in it! 😀

    However, there is a good total football gene roaming across the Low-Lands and once in a while a Genius will appear. Arsene should try and find him again! 🙂

  26. Red Arse says:

    Yes thank you, TA, it was really good despite everything. 🙂

    I hope you and the family, including your latest addition, Henry, hehehe, all enjoyed yourselves!! 😀

  27. TotalArsenal says:

    I was in bed for most of Christmas and Boxing Day Reddinski, but wife and daugther left me to it at one point and had Christmas at my PIL’s. So it was just me and Henry, a glass of water and some dry crackers! 😦

    However, we’ll make up for it asap!! 🙂

  28. Red Arse says:

    I had another thought!! Ohh, that hurt!! 🙂

    I suspect the Glicster is out and about today delivering god knows what to the Orcs, again, and when he is not doing that he is digging holes here and there!

    So not only is he the funniest dude around, he is also the hardest working!

    None of that excuses the fact he has still not written a Post on BK!!!

    Move your ass, Glic, and get typing!! 😀

  29. TotalArsenal says:

    But then his videos could not be more ludicrous.. 😛

  30. TotalArsenal says:

    JM – master of analysis – thank you so much for your visit and comment! 🙂

    Your comment needs further analysis, and I promised my daughter to build a lego-city, so I am afraid it will have to wait till tonight. But as the man from Graz famously said: I’ll be back!

  31. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi Jera and welcome to Bergkampesque 🙂

    I like what you are saying, although I would prefer to keep Jack where he is at the moment, and the same goes for Cazorla. Arteta could replace any of the three in case of fatigue, injury or suspension. Problem solved. Although the thought of Cazorla on the wing excites me too.

  32. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi Josh, yes that could work. 🙂

    Hi WG, hope you had a fine Christmas! 🙂

    The post was indeed inspired by our conversations about the great Basque and your own writing about him at WiganGooner.

    Catermole is indeed the complete animal, maybe a bit like that Frenchman who left us for AC Milan when his contract ran out, Flamini… Does he have the vision and positioning of Arteta though? The same I ask about Frimmers and Le Coq Sportif: they still have a lot to learn in my view and the question is: can we afford to wait?

  33. TotalArsenal says:

    Great news: Oz Gunner has volunteered to do the pre-match for the Barcodes game, and I will publish it around 10.30 tonight. 🙂

  34. Red Arse says:

    Yaaay!! Go Oz!! 😀

  35. VCC says:

    Nice one Ozzy baby.

  36. Herb'sArmy says:

    Hi everyone, thanks for an entertaining read, Total.
    Weekend selections:
    Arsenal to win
    MU to win
    Norwich to win
    Tottenham to win
    QPR to win.

  37. oz gunner says:

    Very well said TA. It’s a testament to Arteta’s versatility to be able to play such a role for the team but he is not the answer. I’ve still got my faith in Frimpong or Coquelin to fill the DM void!

    JM now that is a great comment!

    haha I forgot about that picture. I hope you all like the post later today.

    UMF league (i’ve cracker the ReddA Vinci Code…All winners!)

    Man U

  38. VCC says:

    Thanks Herb and Oz for your selections.

    Herbs odds = 99-1
    Oz odds = 12-1

  39. The Gooner says:

    Hi Henry,

    Turan actually plays RW and Isco LW so based on your analysis of a replacement for Theo, Turan would actually be a more like replacement. However, we know with the majority of La Liga players that they are versatile enough to play anywhere. Also, it appears Wenger is finally converting Theo to a CF, so we’ll likely need another winger especially with Gervinho leaving for AFCON. My point is that if we’re going to spend 17-19 mil, I’d rather AW spend it on one exceptional player opposed to buying 2-3 mediocre players that add up to the same amount.

    TA, I wouldn’t consider Arteta overrated at all. When people think of Arsenal’s best current players, Arteta often goes unmentioned and his work on the pitch is not as noticeable to the average football fan compared to say Wilshere, Cazorla or Ox etc. I 100% agree with Wigan Gooner about Arteta being tailor made for the “Pirlo” role as a deep lying playmaker who is also a tactician that can break down the opposition’s offence. Pirlo has Vidal at Juve that takes care of the midfield destroyer role and as you’ve said many times (TA), this would round our our midfield well.

    However, for some reason I can’t see AW buying another midfielder in January. Despite missing a physical presence/enforcer, Arsenal still have an abundance of midfielders: Wilshere, Cazorla, Arteta, Coquelin, Rosicky, Ramsey, Diaby, Frimpong (loan) etc. Now that Diaby is practicing again and will not be asked to play as much with Jack back, AW will likely bank on Diaby staying healthy. I can see AW buying a winger who has the versatility to play in the midfield as we’re a little light on the wing (Ox, Pod, Gerv) right now if Theo stays as a striker. Just my logic though, with our luck AW will buy no one in January and we’ll all be left with massive disappointment…

  40. The Gooner says:

    UMF League Predictions:

    Liverpool win
    Manure win
    Chel$ea win
    Stoke win
    Spuds v Mackems draw

  41. The Gooner says:

    Sorry VCC, change in my predictions:

    Take away the Spuds v Mackems draw prediction and replace it with an Arsenal win 🙂

  42. VCC says:

    Cheers The Gooner

  43. VCC says:

    The Gooners odds =. 17-1

  44. jnyc says:

    TA, you are still the most insightful writer about Arsenal out there in the blogosphere. I always enjoy your articles.

  45. Red Arse says:

    Victorious Vicky, 🙂

    my picks for tomorrow are;

    Spuds – Win
    Manure – Win
    Shitty – Win
    Stoke/S’Hampton – Draw
    Aresnal/Newcastle – Draw

    I think Oz has a point, altho for the wrong reason. [I do not have a system – just played the odds] 🙂

    There should be a ‘loading’ component to the results to make the competition more interesting and demanding.

    Rather than just pick a ‘win’ and get a point there should be an acknowledgement that home ‘wins’ are easier to predict than away wins, so for the last half of the season I propose;

    Home win = 1 point

    Away win = 2 points

    Draw = 3 points

    I will more quickly show Rocky a clean pair of heels!!

    In fact, in practice it would allow those at the bottom of the UMF table to catch up and even go top, if they back their judgement with ‘draws’ or away wins — leaving the chickens with only 1 point for a Manure home win over Reading, for example!!

    What do you think? 🙂

  46. Red Arse says:

    Hi JNYC, 🙂

    How’s it hanging?

    Watch out for that snow, my man!! 😀

  47. The Gooner says:


    I think your new scoring format for the UMF league is perfect as it’s very difficult to call draws and away wins and people should be awarded for “bold” predictions.

  48. glic says:

    Evening Gashaholics 🙂

    Fine post Total.
    I will admit, I wasn`t too pleased when Wenger bought Zorro in Panic Window !. A few reasons for this ,
    1) I thought he was injury prone.
    2) His age.
    3) Giving him quite a long contract at his age, when in the past Wenger was only wanting to give the likes of Pires and any other 30 year old just a one year contract ! ( I can understand Dennis only being given a one year contract as he is well over 2000 years old ! )
    but, I`m glad he did get him and like in the case of Santi, I wish we had got him a lot earlier in his career !.
    A beast of a DM !. It`s a shame I`m not 30 years younger, as although I`m a shy, gentle, light hearted somewhat mischievous clunge. When let loose on a football field, I was like a rabid dog trying to unlock a bitches harem with any part of my anatomy !. hahaha
    Reading some of the earlier comments about Isco and an Oz pre-match has left me with a double semi ! . hahaha
    Talking of which, it`s only 4 days to FBHOTW !.

  49. glic says:

    Is that a photo of Big Zorro or….. Little Zorro from my video ?. hahaha

    My first ever post, about ” Silent Stan “, is still on the drawing board, I`m struggling to keep it printable !. hahaha


    Cornwall, bad news. That geezer who invented stingray and thunderbirds has joined the great puppets in the sky. In tribute to his genius i have decided to create a combination life size puppet of Lady Penelope and Marina with me pulling all the strings. For when my puppet has to crawl away from the Hood, or is knocked to the floor by Parkers nose, the string motions i realy need to master are the doogy are missionary. hahahaha

  51. glic says:

    hahaha What happened to ” No strings attached” relationships ? hahaha

    Give me four hours and I`ll be around for a foursome !. hahaha

  52. glic says:

    I`ll bring the mirrors and make it an orgy !. hahaha


    hahahaha, yeah, at least this way they cant give you that crap of no strings. Theres always strings attatched. Well, there will be for me when i construct my puppet. hahaha

  54. glic says:

    Did you read about that Englishman who had a stroke and come out of it speaking Welsh ?.

    I also dont speak any other language, but I once had a stroke…..of a French girls body and was straight in there with some French Letters !. hahaha

  55. glic says:

    Will they have Jack and Danny syrups or just smooth porcelaine ? hahaha


    hahahaha, yeah i read that. I bet hes got a welsh fetish, already knew the language and is using that stroke to come out as a Welshist.

    Its like that bloke i read about a couple of months ago who claimed he fell over and became a homosexual. I might try this technique next time i get caught out by the Mrs.”sorry love, i fell over and it turned me into a sex maniac”. who wouldnt believe an excuse like that. hahahaha


    No, they’ve got to have hair. I can use my 1970S bay city rollers wigs. They dont look to good on me these days. hahahaha

  58. glic says:

    Gerry Anderson RIP

    If Lady Penelope cant give you a semi, who can !. hahaha

    Redders as Brains and is that Ivan Gazidas as The Hood !. hahaha

  59. glic says:


    I think your problem is that your syrup was made from the pubic hair of Katie Price and Mother Theresa. So every time you pass a good looking man, you immediately dive down on them and when you get back up, you say three Hail Mary`s !. hahaha


    Thats not true, i usually thank them and pass them £50. hahaha

  61. Red Arse says:

    Loved that interchange, Glicy and Titty, — classic.

    Like the two thingy’s (Ronnys?). Glic asked a question — made a joke — and Tittymouse responded to the one before the one before!! No! I did not understand that either! 🙂

  62. glic says:

    Evening Brains !. 😆

    I sure Vicky had strings attached to him when we saw him in the Arsenal Tavern !. He`s Zimmer frame is like Thunderbird effing 65 !. hahaha


    Its Cornwalls fault Redders. Before he mentioned Thunderbirds i had managed to surpress my dark desire for puppetry love. Now ime reduced to strange dreams of stringed eroticness with Lady Penelope whilst Parker sits in the corner scolding me that ime useless. hahahaha

  64. glic says:

    The Two Ronnies were not just funny, it was so bloody clever aswell !. It`s no wonder a lot of comics have university backgrounds .!

  65. glic says:

    “What are you doing with that telescope Parker ?”

    “Shall I put it away mi lady !”

    “Ohhhh Parker ! ”

    ” Will that be all mi Lady ?”

    ” Yessss Parker ! ”

    Right I want some food , Laterz !.

  66. Red Arse says:

    Was Parker related to Terry? Have telescopes with strings attached run thru’ the family? 🙂

  67. VCC says:

    Evening happy chappies. Late to the show tonight, just been to see Cinderalla at the local theatre with the family. Smashing show and all had a laugh and great night.

    Just read through tonight’s show between Terry and GLiC. You guys could get paid for your scripts. Thanks so much for putting a smile on our faces. This must be the best site in the blogosphere.

    RedArse. Nice idea regarding the scoring system for the UMF League. Shall we implement the new points from January? This , as you say will give the bottom guys a fighting chance to catch up.

    Got to ask though I’m still waiting for the entries of Total,Henry,TMHT and PPP.

    Please get them in ASAP. I am spending the whole day down the local with the lads from my ex football team. Earlier the better so I can enter them in the spreadsheet. Cheers guys.

  68. VCC says:

    GLiC, Terry, she’s (Lady Penelope) behind you…… 😉

  69. TotalArsenal says:

    VCC, see 00.14 and 01.26 comments for Terry’s and Henry’s contributions.

  70. TotalArsenal says:

    My predictions:

    Norwich, Stoke, Reading, Fulham, Aston Villa all DRAWS! 🙂

  71. TotalArsenal says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, are you ready for a multi-media, multi-layered prematch report by the one and only Oz Gunner?! He even produced the evidence that Demba Ba is already ours!! 😛


  72. oz gunner says:

    haha you too together are comedic gold. Second best way to wake up in the morning is reading the banter between you both. Chuck in RA and VCC for good measure

  73. henrychan says:

    I had already give my prediction.. yesterday..

    Arsenal and Stoke home win..
    MU, Chelsea and City draw..

    And I am agree with the new scoring system..

  74. TotalArsenal says:

    JM 🙂

    I had a good read of your comment and well done for coming up with an alternative, unorthodox formation.

    But I must say, I don’t like it very much. In my view, it lacks width and there is a risk that we’d become too defensive in such a formation, ending up with 5, or even 6 defenders at periods of the game. Now, if Gibbs and Sagna were better at crossing the ball and scoring goals themselves, then I would consider it with more enthusiasm, but as it is, with our current squad, I am afraid I cannot get excited about it.

    But, of course that does not mean it is not a genius plan! 😛

  75. TotalArsenal says:

    JNYC 😳 thanks amigo!

    Hope to see you more on BK in the New Year! 🙂

  76. Josh says:

    Only couple men for the job 1st choice Ettiene Capoue, 2nd choice Luis Gustavo, 3rd Choice Victor Wanyam, 4th choice Diame

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